PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN’S CHEST
Set Sail for the Best Movie of the Summer !!!
HOLLYWOOD - Harg, what’s that I sees on the horizon, boyo? It be the thrillingest yarn this side o’ the Pillows of Hercules! Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest is sailing at full throttle and coming about at your local theater to lay claim to your thrills and steal yer hearts! Arg-Harr, me carbuncles!
Okay, I’ll admit that I don’t really speak Pirate, but you’ll be singing praises after seeing Chest, the greatest adventure movie of the decade! Chest picks up where the last Pirates adventure left off, and doesn’t stop until it sets us up for the next Pirates adventure, coming next year! And this time, it’s even more like a theme park ride than the original!
Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) discovers he owes a blood debt to the legendary Davey Jones, Captain of the ghostly Flying Dutchman. With time running out, Jack must find a way out of his debt or else be doomed to eternal damnation and servitude in the afterlife. Making matters worse, Sparrow’s problems manage to interfere with the wedding plans of a certain Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley), who are forced to join Jack on yet another one of his misadventures.
…At least that’s what it says in the press release. All I know is there’s sixteen men full of laughter, thrills and adventure waiting for you on this Dead Man’s Chest!
Johnny Depp returns in glory as the revoltingly dashing Captain Jack Sparrow, and in the words of that national treasure Billy Joel, this Captain Jack will get you high tonight, and take you to his special island! Keira Knightley is simply the most beautiful image to grace the movie screen since I can remember noticing women, and she’s pitch-perfect as the plucky Elizabeth Swann. Veteran Actors Bill Nighy and Stellan Skarsgard add a touch of class, and Orlando Bloom has some sort of a role.
It all adds up to the greatest pirate adventure tale since somebody first pirated something and another person wrote about it! Chest will raid your coast with laughter, slit your throat with thrills, and leave you for dead with a smile on your face!
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“Revoltingly dashing” so perfectly describes Johnny Depp, as well as Cappy Jack, that when I read it, I almost drowned in tears … of laughter! Sixty million lira worth of stars! (Which is … what? 4 1/2 American?)